im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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