At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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