Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
