loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
