I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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