I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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