Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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