are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
