Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
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so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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