you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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