Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
