bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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