What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
