I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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