This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
