you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
