fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
