My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
