I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
