fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
