Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I supernannyed him into submission
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
