i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
