Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
