I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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