All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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