I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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