You made me cry and you don't even care
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
