AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it hurts more in the daytime
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
