Will you blow on my dice?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize