So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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