Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
