I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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