But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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