If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
