Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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