I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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