just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
