he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize