what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
