I think my fart just growled at me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
