Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
