I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
