Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
