thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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