Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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