Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
don't judge my taste in strippers
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
