...so i touched it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
