She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
