I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
