Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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