dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
