But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
