We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
