Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
