brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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