i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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