I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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