it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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