anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
