You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
