I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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