Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
