biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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