I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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